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Why I wrote A Closer Walk

Recently I’ve been struggling with a fear of death—specifically the fear of my husband, Ken, dying. Fears of him leaving me tormented me constantly, hindering my peace of mind. Each day during our morning farewell, I’d wonder if this would be our last goodbye, which ensured I waved one last time—just in case. When the phone rang at an unusual time, I’d wonder if the dreaded call had come. I would wake up in the night to find myself composing his eulogy in my mind. Over and over I found myself pondering and wondering what my life would be like without him. But I also knew these fears were futile, as no one knows the number of days left until we breathe our last—only the Lord who created us.

One morning in the fall of 2014, I reached my limit. I couldn’t go on like this any longer, couldn’t continue living with this dread, this fear, as it tainted every part of my life. Crying out to God for help, He heard my cry, answered my prayer, and removed my fears. But He also asked me to set aside one year to write down our story, to tell what God has done for me and my family. I’ve never shared my memoirs before, never sat down and told the story from beginning to end, but the Lord has helped me take this one step at a time. My prayer is that, by the end of the last page, He will have told our story.

Twenty years. I’ve been waiting twenty years to tell our story and the time has finally come. My book, A Closer Walk, is our story.